Christmas was quiet, just me and Joscelin. The most entertaining gift to date? - a miniature live set of the Falmouth Quidditch team. Only from Joscelin would this be amusing. Though, the little bug of a Chaser, Larson, had to be put back in the box because he kept flying around my head trash talking. None of that, even from a toy. Joscelin kept letting him out though. Stinging hexes are fabulous reminders that little sisters bite too.

Well, except for the fact that he resorted to tickling me and then pulling me down to snuggle by the hearth. Reminded me of when we were young ... things were never simple, but ... there's something about a big brother's arms that make you feel safe and like nothing bad could ever happen. I don't need that kind of reassurance, but ... it's nice to feel those things, not have to worry about everything yourself for a few minutes.

I love and loath seeing Joscelin so much. Love it because he's one of the only people that can make me happy just by being in the room, but I loath seeing him because it ... hurts every time he leaves.

He's not even leaving for a few weeks and I'm already starting to get mopey about it. No one knows ... it's not safe to show these things to anyone, but I'm at least allowed to feel here.

I need to go flying. Now. The Bulgarian Sliven 2500. Built for a larger seeker - fast, powerful, entirely too much for me.

...

And exactly what I need right now.